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Welcome and ...enjoy your happiness

 

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Also SeeYoooHaaa.com presents ...The Economy Is So Bad Jokes 2009
and  yooohaaa.com Presents MORE  its so hot jokes

It's So Hot . . .  
How Hot Is It ???

 

It's so hot today..the National Weather Service has issued a fat guy in tank top warning....

national weather service says avoid strenous activity..or what they said to the kardashians..just what you were doing

the nation is under a "heat dome" we have plenty of shade under our 14 trillion dollar debt ceiling

Jimmy Fallon

 

Squirrels are pouring Gatorade on their nuts

ice pops are melting in the freezer

Somewhere in the US a corn stalk turns into to popcorn

It's So Hot That People Are Baking Cookies on Their Dashboards

 

It's so hot I actually felt emotionally close to our air conditioner this morning. It completes me.


Like Johnny Carson / David Letterman / Jay Leno / Too Hot Jokes / Humor

The weather is 95 and hazy ..kind of like John McCain

Hot today here in New York City. Hot also in Washington. It was so hot today that Dick Cheney waterboarded himself." --David Letterman

When Hillary was campaigning in Florida, it was so hot, she was wearing her pantsuit without the pants

It's so hot that I saw two trees fighting over a dog. : )

It's so hot, today I saw a chicken lay a fried egg.

It's so hot that it makes me want to take off my skin and sit in my bones

It was so hot in Palm Springs the Betty Ford Center said, "Screw it, open the bar. Drinks for everybody”

It was so hot today Floyd Landis tested positive for Snapple.
It was so hot my cab driver was wearing an oscillating turban.
It was so hot at "The View” that their new cast member is Ted Williams.
It was so hot out that North Korea test launched a long range Popsicle.
It was so hot today I saw a funeral procession pull into a Dairy Queen.
It was so hot today I saw an Amish guy buying an air conditioner.
It was so hot Bill Clinton got a slurpee and then went to 7/11.


Birds have to use potholders to pull worms out of the ground.

Potatoes cook underground, so just pull one out and add

butter, salt and pepper.

it so hot that we took my mom to the family reunion and she melted but hell we had enough gravy for everyone!!

Farmers are feeding their chickens crushed ice to keep them

from laying hard-boiled eggs.

Its so hot I burn my tongue telling it?

Cows are giving evaporated milk.

its so hot, the squirrels are handling their nuts with potholders

It's so hot that I have discovered that asphalt has a liquid state.

It's so hot that I have found out (the hard way) that my seat belt buckle could be used as a branding iron.

Texas its so hot..."It's hotter than...":

...two mice f***ing in a wool sock.
...a whore on dollar night.
...than a 2-peckered billy goat.

Trees are whistling for dogs.

You no longer associate bridges (or rivers) with water.

You can say 113 degrees without fainting.

It's so hot, I can roast marshmallows on my belly

You eat hot peppers to cool your mouth off.

You can make instant sun tea.

You learn that a seat belt makes a pretty good branding iron.

When the temperature drops below 95, you feel a bit chilly.

You've experienced condensation on your butt from the hot

water in the toilet bowl.

You discover that it takes only 2 fingers to drive your car.

The best parking place is determined by shade instead of

distance.

Hot water now comes out of both taps.

You actually burn your hand opening the car door.

You break a sweat the instant you step outside at 7:30 a.m.

Your biggest bicycle wreck fear is, "What if I get knocked

out and end up lying on the pavement and cook to death?"

You realize that asphalt has a liquid state.

A sad Arizonan prayed, "I wish it would rain - not so much

for me, cuz I've seen it -- but for my 7-year-old."

Hot? I saw a bunch of winos passing around a Dilly Bar!

Everywhere you look there is sunshine and warmth. It’s like living in the french fry bin at McDonalds.

It was so hot in Virginia, Cavaliers fans took the bags off their heads.

It was so hot...

All the corn on the stalks started popping and flying through

the air. The cows thought it was snowing. And they froze to death.

It's so hot, I saw squirrels fanning their nuts.

The potatoes cook underground and all you have to do to have

lunch is to pull one out and add butter, salt and pepper.

Farmers are feeding their chickens crushed ice to keep them

from laying hard boiled eggs.

the cows are giving evaporated milk.

the trees are whistlin' for the dogs.

Satan decided to take the day off.

Even the sun was looking for some shade!

the birds had to pick up the worms with potholders.

I saw a dog chasing a cat and they were both walkin'..

that Dennis Rodman went out without a bra!

The chickens are laying hard-boiled eggs..

Two trees fighting over a dog....

the workers at the chicken place were jumping in the fry vat

just to cool off

I saw a fire hydrant begging a dog to pee on it

Calista Flockhart of "Ally McBeal" was spotted eating some ice cream.

And she almost ate a second spoonful.

It's so hot the birds have to use potholders to pull worms out of the ground.

It's hotter than a half-bred fox in a forest fire.

It's hotter than two bears fighting in a forest fire.

It's hotter than a billy goat in a pepper patch.

It's hotter than two cats fighting in a wool sock.

It's so hot that I tied my mule in a field of corn, and the corn started popping and the mule thought it was snow and froze to death!

It's so hot I saw two trees fighting over a dog.

It was so hot today I saw a dog chasing a cat and they were both walking.

It's hot enough to fry an egg on the sidewalk.

It's so hot outside that you could fry an egg on the hood of my car.

It's hotter than a depot stove.

It's hot as love in August.

It's hotter than a mother-in-law's kiss.

It's so hot I just saw the devil dancing buck-naked in the middle of the driveway.

It's hotter than a firecracker lit at both ends.

It's hotter than a $2 pistol on the Fourth of July.

It's hotter than a June bride in a feather bed.

It's hotter than Georgia asphalt.

It's hotter than high noon in Death Valley.

It's Africa hot!

It's hotter than blue blazes! (See note below.)

It's hotter than a hoot'n poot! (We don't know what that means, either.)

It's so hot the Popsicle timeframe is down to 20 seconds.

It's hotter than a steel playground at noon.

It's so hot that the trees are creeping around looking for shade.

It's so hot around the barn that the barnyard pimp won't even come out and check on his little chicks.

It's hotter than a hen laying eggs.

It's so hot outside it will make you return things you never stole.

It's so hot I could spit fire.

It's stupid hot!

It is hot enough to cure tobacco.

It's hotter than Paris Hilton's underpants.

It's hotter than the devil's underwear.

It's hotter than a pair of sweat pants full of barbecue.

It's another one of those aluminum foil sweater days.

It's hotter than the hinges of Hades.

It's hotter than a ginger mill in Hades.

It's hotter than seven hells out there.

It's hotter than the four sides of hell.

It's so hot that it makes me want to take off my skin and sit in my bones.

I hope you brought the champagne glasses because it is TOASTY out.

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