It was so hot...

All the corn on the stalks started popping and flying through

the air. The cows thought it was snowing. And they froze to death.

The potatoes cook underground and all you have to do to have

lunch is to pull one out and add butter, salt and pepper.

Farmers are feeding their chickens crushed ice to keep them

from laying hard boiled eggs.

the cows are giving evaporated milk.

the trees are whistlin' for the dogs.

Satan decided to take the day off.

Even the sun was looking for some shade!

the birds had to pick up the worms with potholders.

I saw a dog chasing a cat and they were both walkin'..

that Dennis Rodman went out without a bra!

The chickens are laying hard-boiled eggs..

Two trees fighting over a dog....

the workers at the chicken place were jumping in the fry vat

just to cool off

I saw a fire hydrant begging a dog to pee on it

And she almost ate a second spoonful.

It's so hot the birds have to use potholders to pull worms out of the ground.

It's hotter than a half-bred fox in a forest fire.

It's hotter than two bears fighting in a forest fire.

It's hotter than a billy goat in a pepper patch.

It's hotter than two cats fighting in a wool sock.

It's so hot that I tied my mule in a field of corn, and the corn started popping and the mule thought it was snow and froze to death!

It's so hot I saw two trees fighting over a dog.

It was so hot today I saw a dog chasing a cat and they were both walking.

It's hot enough to fry an egg on the sidewalk.

It's so hot outside that you could fry an egg on the hood of my car.

It's hotter than a depot stove.

It's hot as love in August.

It's hotter than a mother-in-law's kiss.

It's so hot I just saw the devil dancing buck-naked in the middle of the driveway.

It's hotter than a firecracker lit at both ends.

It's hotter than a $2 pistol on the Fourth of July.

It's hotter than a June bride in a feather bed.

It's hotter than Georgia asphalt.

It's hotter than high noon in Death Valley.

It's Africa hot!

It's hotter than blue blazes! (See note below.)

It's hotter than a hoot'n poot! (We don't know what that means, either.)

It's so hot the Popsicle timeframe is down to 20 seconds.

It's hotter than a steel playground at noon.

It's so hot that the trees are creeping around looking for shade.

It's so hot around the barn that the barnyard pimp won't even come out and check on his little chicks.

It's hotter than a hen laying eggs.

It's so hot outside it will make you return things you never stole.

It's so hot I could spit fire.

It's stupid hot!

It is hot enough to cure tobacco.

It's hotter than Paris Hilton's underpants.

It's hotter than the devil's underwear.

It's hotter than a pair of sweat pants full of barbecue.

It's another one of those aluminum foil sweater days.

It's hotter than the hinges of Hades.

It's hotter than a ginger mill in Hades.

It's hotter than seven hells out there.

It's hotter than the four sides of hell.

It's so hot that it makes me want to take off my skin and sit in my bones.

I hope you brought the champagne glasses because it is TOASTY out.

Two young women were out walking in the country on a hot summer’s day when they saw a beautiful lake close to the road.
   ‘It’s so hot! Let’s go for a swim in that lake to cool down!’ suggested the first woman.
   ‘But we haven’t got any swimming things to put on,’ said the other, ‘ We can’t swim naked!’
   ‘Oh, don’t worry about that!’ reassured the first woman, ‘ There’s nobody here to see us.’
So they took off all their clothes and got into the lovely cool water for a swim.
After only a few minutes they noticed a farmer walking towards the lake carrying a large bucket.
   ‘Are you here to ask us to get out of the lake?’ the first woman asked.
   ‘I think he’s here to look at us!’ said the second woman.
The old farmer frowned and held up the bucket for them to see.
   ‘No, I’m not here to tell you to get out of the lake and I didn’t come here to watch you ladies swim naked.’ he replied. ‘I’m just here to feed the alligator.