Best Movie Quotes
MICHAEL CLAYTON
Arthur Edens in Michael Clayton--taking down the man and taking down
himself:
Yes! Here we are, all together. Is everyone listening? 'Cause this is
the moment you've been waiting for, a very special piece of paper, so
let's have a big, paranoid, malignant round of applause... for United
Northfield Culcitate Internal Research Memorandum #229! June 19th, 1991.
Conclusion: The unanticipated marketing growth for Culcitate by small
farms in colder climate demands IMMEDIATE cost-benefit analysis. Hah.
Would you like a little bit of legal advice? NEVER let a scientist use
the words "unanticipated" and "immediate" in the same sentence. Okay?
Okay. In-house field studies have indicated small, short, seasoned farms
dependent on well water for human consumption are at risk for toxic,
particulate concentrations at levels significant enough to cause serious
human tissue damage. Well, this is a long way of saying that you don't
even have to leave your house to be killed by our product, we'll pipe it
into your kitchen sink. Culcitate's great market advantage that it is
tasteless, colorless, and does not precipitate, has the potential to
mask and intensify these potentially lethal exposures. Now, I love this.
Not only is this a great product, it is a superb cancer delivery system.
Mechanical modifications of Culcitate product, or the addition of a
detector molecule such as an odorant or a colorant, would require a
top-down redesign of the Culcitate-manufacturing process. These costs,
while assumed to be significant, were not summarized here. Which,
loosely translated, means "it's going to cost a fortune to go back on
this, and I'm just an asshole in a lab, so could someone else PLEASE
make the decision?" CLEARLY, the release of these internal research
documents would compromise the effective marketing of Culcitate, and
MUST be kept within the protective confines of United Northfield's
trained secret language. You don't need me... to tell you what that
means. Goodbye!
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